The Pagan And The Pervert

Let’s start with the salient point. My penis hurts when I have sex. I think we’ve vaguely eluded to this before, but we’ve never gone into it in much detail about. Not because I’m ashamed of it; I just wasn’t sure if it was sex blog material. But, in the end, this is part of our sex life, for better or worse.

We’re not sure of what it is yet. But whatever it is, it varies in intensity. Sometimes its just a bit of an annoyance after a full ejaculation. Other times, at its worst, it is a sharp pain when I dribble even the slightest bit of pre cum. And that, my friends, gets old in a hurry.

The feeling is a bit like when you’ve cum five or six times in succession. It crept up on me, really, because for the longest time that’s what I thought it was! The Pagan and I were going at it like rabbits when we first met. Ejaculating three or four times in a day wasn’t uncommon. I recognised that raw, kind of bruised feeling from my younger days and put it down to that.

After that, though, it gradually became intolerable. First I’d experience that feeling after less sexual activity than before. Before I knew it, matters had worsened to the point where I’d be experiencing this pain before I’d even come.

I guess you’d call the net effect premature ejaculation, but its not really that, I don’t think. The thing is it affects the way I’ve always done things. When I’ve felt myself getting close to coming I’ve always let a little bit dribble out to take the pressure off. Now, if that happens its usually game over.

(On a lighter note, you’ll be happy to know, it doesn’t affect my ability to gain or maintain erections. Just what I can do with it!)

Lately its become a bit of an issue between us. Depending the mood I was already in when it happens it can really get to me. I think maybe more so when its clear the Pagan is very horny. I want so much to satisfy her that when I’m forced to stop it can make me quite angry. I’m not always such a bear about it. If I’m in a reasonable frame of mind at the time I can be remarkably sanguine! But its always disappointing.

As for the Pagan, it distresses her to see me in pain. Her view about my anger toward myself varies a bit. My temper sometimes scares her a little bit, but mostly she just hates that I’m so unhappy about it.

Before you say it, I have been to a doctor about it, back when we were going through the IVF. It wasn’t all that bad then, from memory, but bad enough. More particularly the Pagan was afraid that it was symptomatic of something worse and might be caused by the same thing as my infertility.

The doctor suggested I use an anti-inflammatory gel, which has actually been working. We’ve been able to get it back to that earlier, less invasive level of discomfort sometimes, but I have to keep using it which isn’t really viable. His advice at the time was not to be distracted from the objective of achieving a pregnancy. So, with that box ticked, I’m about to go back to try to sort it out once and for all.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 17th, 2007 at 5:54 pm and is filed under Life, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.